Happy New Year!

Friday, January 1st, 2010 at 8:00 am.
by pre.

Happy New Year to you all from the Transcendence Institute.

We’re approaching the end of Lap3 of our course around the Transcendence Spiral, with just one round-up lap to go. Assuming all goes to plan, we’ll finish that in November this year, bringing an end to our initial course of 32 guided meditations designed to improve your mental skills and aid you in your path towards increased transcendence.

This month we’ll focus on Language, and next month on Empathy, then we’ll be done with guided lucid dreams and head on into the final lap around the spiral from March through to September.

To celebrate the beginning of this, the last, year of our little journey, we thought we’d make up a few Zen Koans about Transcendence. They’re of course coming from the more physical and materialist vantage point that the Transcendence Institute prefers than the more eastern pseudo-philosophical systems prefered by actual Zen practitioners. Of course, they’re to be taken lightly, a Koan is probably not the place for strict scientific accuracy.


One day as a young transcendii was playing video games in the basement, the Transcended Master happened past and stood to watch for a while. The student was doing very well. He was in ‘the zone’, hunched over the game controller and his space-ship flew around the game-world racking up points with each psychedelic explosion that lit up the room from the screen. His score ticked upwards at incredible rates as alien monsters were slaughtered by the hundred.

When the level ended the young transcendii jumped up out of his seat, punched the air and cried out “YES!” before grabbing his neck in some amount of pain. With this, he noticed the Transcended Master standing behind him.

He bowed his head and apologised, “I’m sorry Master, I did not see you there, I was absorbed in the game.

The Transcended Master shook his head scornfully and sighed. “Why are you apologising? Your focus was incredible, everything that mattered to your aim was within your consciousness, your filters were up and you achieved the high score.

With this, the student was slightly more transcended.

Could work on your posture a bit though.” said the Master, as he walked away, smiling.


After class one day, a young transcendii approached the Transcended Master looking sorrowful and distressed. “Master, I have forgotten my mother’s birthday again this year, she’s very disappointed in me and I feel awful to have hurt her feelings so.” he complained.

The Transcended Master frowned, confused. “Do you have a phone?” he asked?

Yes,” replied the student, “but it’s too late to call her, she called me on it this morning asking me if I’d forgotten.

And does your phone have a calendar or reminder function?” asked the master.

With this, the young student’s face brightened up. Within a few button presses he, or at least the combination of he and his technology, was more transcended.


During a sunny afternoon’s picnic at the local park, The Transcended Master and one of his students were watching a group of young transcendii playing with a Frisbee.

The student sighed, complaining that he’d like to join in the game but feared that he’d just get in the way since he had never really been able to catch a Frisbee properly.

How do you think you can best improve your Frisbee throwing skill?” asked the master.

Before the student could answer, the Transcended Master jumped up, ran at the Frisbee, caught it in mid-air and in one fluid motion turned and threw it at the young student’s face.

The student didn’t have time to move his arm up to block the spinning disc, and it hit him on the nose.

When the blood had been mopped up, the student was more transcended.

Social Skills

Very early one Sunday morning, when the rest of the Institute was asleep, a young transcendii who had been out all night at a traditional British all-night psychedelic rave came home feeling happy but exhausted.

He entered the institute as quietly as possible so as not to wake the other students from their slumber, and was surprised to find the Transcended Master in the kitchen fixing himself a drink.

Master!” said the young student in shock, “what ever brings you out of your bed at this hour in the morning?

The Transcended Master looked groggily at the student and said in return, “No doubt you have been out all night partying, talking to people, dancing, having fun socialising with people until you can barely stay awake?

The student looked ashamedly down at his feet, “Yes, master, I have” he said.

Me too,” said the Master, “how the hell do you think I got so good at dealing with people and enjoying life? It takes practice, and you gotta keep your eye in. Fancy a Gin and tonic?

With this, and the ensuing drunken conversation, the transcendii became slightly more transcended. So did the Master.


At a transcendental conference one evening a small group of advanced transcenii arrived too late to check into their own room. One of the Transcended Masters there took pity on the late arrivals, and invited them back to his own hotel room for the night. The hosting transcendii was very generous with his room’s facilities, offering those who had come back with him the full hospitality which was his to offer. Drink, food, comfort and entertainment were flowing around the room like water through a river.

Feeling indebted to the host, one transcendii asked him exactly how he could repay him for his kind generosity in helping out those in need.

You don’t need to pay me back, for am I not in need” smiled the Transcended Master, “perhaps instead, when you find someone in need, you can repay me by offering them similar hospitality. Perhaps then our shared world will be improved

With this, the transcendii became slightly more aware of how Karma works, and thus became more transcended.